Now, Repeat After Me

December is such a busy month.  Mall parking lots are crazy and the lines inside the stores are lengthy.  Regardless, I love the hustle and bustle that surrounds Christmas.  But before you know it, a new year will be upon us and many will be contemplating their New Year’s Resolution.

A few days ago I was reading an editorial piece by Ashely Gartland entitled Bye-Bye Bad Habits. I was struck by the similarity between her message, my message to many, and the fact that many a message bears repeating. It won’t sink in until just the right moment, and that moment is different for everyone. Breaking bad habits is the same as changing bad habits and that’s what any kind of long term, sustainable change is about.

I’ll recall here the subheading used in Ashley’s article, and compare them to what I often hear myself saying to clients:  

Ashley’s Words	Chris’s Words
Acknowledge your habit	What isn’t working for you?
Look to the future	Let’s set a goal for this space.
Change your environment	If this space holds too many distractions for you, let’s take a boxful of items into a more inviting room and sort through them there.
Substitute a better behaviour	Don’t do everything at once. Pick one thing you will do differently, and do it every time. For example, don’t leave your dishes in the sink, put them in the dishwasher, or wash after each meal.
Hold yourself accountable	Ask someone to be nearby, to keep you on task and help you to stay motivated.
Count on failure	It’s normal for people to backslide when they are working towards long term goals. Think of that nasty, four-letter word, diet. A little setback doesn’t negate all that you’ve accomplished. Keep your eye on the prize.

So, if you’ve struggled to make positive changes, and are left feeling defeated, don’t give up. You can still create the space, person, home – whatever you want – when you hear the message that resonates with you.  

Until that time, shut out all the noise and enjoy this magical time of year. Merry Christmas!!!

Make the Holidays Happy for Yourself

Remembrance Day is barely behind us, but the marketplace is already flooded with the reminders of the festive season ahead. While this is to be a time of giving, sharing and celebrating with loved ones, it is often also a stress-filled time. Here are some tips – some old, some new – to make things a little easier on you over the next six weeks.

Freeze leftovers, starting now. If that casserole or cornbread you made today is only half-eaten, pop it in a freezer-safe container and squirrel it away.  When the family is running in different directions to shop, attend parties and visit friends, it may be difficult to prioritize grocery shopping and cooking. But if you have a few meals already prepared and in the freezer, you can get some grub in a hurry.   

Give gifts that create an experience. Many parents will suggest that gifts for their children come in the form of annual memberships (e.g. Science Centre, zoo). Cinema gift certificates, or tickets to a specific show or event are also well received. Sometimes people have a long bucket list of things they want to do, but never get around to researching or blocking the time to have the experience.  Your gift can give them that nudge to do something they’ve always wanted to experience.


How about a group outing instead of a gift exchange? True, there won’t be a physical item in shiny wrapping paper to open, but you get the gift of spending time and creating memories with the special people in your life.  In this fast-paced world, it may be just what your family and friends value most at this time of year.

Embrace catering. Just because you are hosting an event, doesn’t mean that everything has to be prepared from scratch. Ordering a dessert, hors d’oeuvres platter, side dishes, or savoury pies is perfectly acceptable. 

Rent dishware. Party rental companies will rent out full place settings. Your order can be delivered to your door or picked up. The best part: when the meal is over, you just have to stack the dirty dishes in their respective crates to be picked up. No dish-pan hands for you!

Ditch the cleaning, sort of. I’m not suggesting that you let the dirt and grime build up. Instead, I suggest that you hire someone to clean for you. It’s not uncommon for people to hire someone to do a one-time cleaning. Maybe you’d like help before a big gathering; maybe you’d rather have someone clean up after the gang has left. And even if you’re not hosting a group of people, you may just want to hire someone to do the housework that has fallen to the bottom of your list of priorities – when there’s so much else going on!
 

Whatever you’ve got happening between now and the end of the year, try not to stress out and remember to enjoy yourself!

The Importance of Awareness

Thanks to social media I have learned that October is ADHD Awareness Month and Diabetes Awareness Month. In today’s society, we place significant importance on educating the public about the various, diagnosable “conditions” that impact our medical health and lifestyle choices. We recognize that people need different things to thrive and are taught to respect differences in one another. 

But what about self-awareness? There is certainly a movement afoot to promote self-care: getting enough sleep and exercise, maintaining the balance between work and our personal life. Despite the repeated message that “You deserve a break”, “You’re worth the indulgence” it remains difficult for many to recognize or allow their needs to be fulfilled.

But no one is knocking on the door to teach us about ourselves.  Do you recognize the feelings that are created when you have to pay income tax? Is there a mounting sense of frustration when you have to reschedule an appointment for the second time, due to a conflict? When you walk in the front door, are you relaxed and happy to be home, or do your eyes dart from one unfinished task to the next?

Your environment and the tasks you engage in, all contribute to your daily experiences. Are you calm, focused and productive? Or do you find it difficult to get motivated and stay on track? Is there a sense of overwhelm that makes it impossible for you to even put one foot forward? Research out of the Princeton University Neuroscience Institute dating back to 2011 found that visual clutter contributes to irritability, distractibility, reduced productivity and makes it hard for us to process information.

All those negatives give us good reason to face our clutter and create a more serene environment for ourselves.  When you take that first step, pause long enough to recognize how good it feels to have one less decision to make. As you continue along, whether for days, weeks, months or longer, remember to periodically stop and recognize how much lighter you feel and how much easier it is to accomplish your daily tasks.

It’s Not Nice to Call People Names

Hey!  Remember me? It’s been a while since we connected. Although I haven’t been blogging, I have been writing.  One thing I’ve written about is the difference between compulsive hoarding and chronic disorganization. There are some key points that bear repeating. Who better to share them with than you?

I don’t know if you are aware, but since May of 2013, compulsive hoarding has been identified as a mental health disorder. In the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) - the DSM is produced by the American Psychiatric Association and is viewed as the supreme authority on mental health disorders - hoarding disorder, or compulsive hoarding, was recognized as a diagnosis. Prior to that time, hoarding behaviour was considered a symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

Now, there’s a key difference between those with OCD and those with hoarding disorder: people who suffer from OCD generally are aware of their disorder. In contrast, people with hoarding disorder have very little insight into the severity of a hoarding situation. Despite the many risks, such as fire hazards, poor sanitation, or safety hazards, which can exist in a hoarding situation, the individual just doesn’t see a problem.

TV shows and media coverage have brought the reality of hoarding into our homes, but they don’t present a full picture. We aren’t educated as to the reasons one may hoard, or the impact it has on their relationships with others. The person who hoards is often portrayed as irresponsible and selfish. It is more likely, they just don’t understand what all the fuss is about. Remember: they have very little insight into the severity of their own situation.

Now, did you notice that I haven’t used the label hoarder in discussing this topic? This in not just by chance. Professional organizers and other related professionals generally do not use that word. I’ve heard hoarder used colloquially, and I have to admit, it makes me uneasy. Maybe that’s because I truly understand what hoarding looks and feels like, maybe it’s because it reminds me of schoolyard name-calling. Regardless, what you will hopefully experience in a professional context is a gentler reference to a hoarding situation, or someone who demonstrates hoarding tendencies, or anything to that effect.  This may just sound like nothing more than a convoluted way of saying the exact same thing, but it comes down to  matter of respect.  

One thing you can be sure of, where there is hoarding, there is hurt and frustration. The person who is actively hoarding may not experience these emotions, but the people who care about him or her likely are.  Just something to bear in mind if you know, or suspect that someone you know, struggles with compulsive hoarding.

System Breakdown

With temperatures finally above 0°C, good things lie ahead. That’s certainly not the feeling I had on the morning of February 12, the day my computer died. It was finito. I figured this would be a minor inconvenience. How difficult could it be to replace a computer? 

I shouldn’t have asked.  I waited four weeks for a replacement. I was amazed to learn how dependent this non-techy was on a computer. My accounting routine went off course. I lost things. My paper routine fell apart.

See what happened there? A very organized person (me) was suddenly a very disorganized person, (yup, the professional organizer, disorganized).  All it takes is something unexpected to wreak havoc on a well-orchestrated plan.

On March 10, my new computer was delivered. My first priority was to set up my email account. Now, since I’m a non-techy, I had some surprises along the way.  First, when I successfully set the account up on my new computer, every email on the server downloaded – not just the ones that had been sent during the previous four weeks, all 6700 of them.

Second, when I logged in to my Webmail account to begin clearing some things off the server, I inadvertently cleared everything off the server. When I selected the checkbox at the top of the column, I thought I was only selecting the emails I could see on my screen. It wasn’t until I hit Delete, then Purge Deleted, and waited a few seconds, that I realized I had cleared everything from the server.

My first reaction was panic. It was soon replaced with relief. I felt free. I don’t need all those emails on the server and on my C drive. I still have to sort and purge from my computer, but I don’t need to go through the exercise twice!! If I hadn’t accidentally deleted those emails, I would have created a huge task for myself, all the while telling myself that I had to check each email “Just to make sure”. In reality, if an email has sat untouched for three years, I don’t suddenly need it now.

So, I continue to reduce the number of emails in my Inbox. How? By applying the basic rules of organizing.

Put like with like. Sorting emails by sender means that you have everything from one sender in a group.  This is a great way to see how many retail offers you have from one store, how many unread newsletters you have from one association and how many simple conversations are still clogging up your Inbox.

If it’s not adding value today, let it go. Once you’ve got all your emails grouped by sender, it’s very easy to select, then delete, those that are no longer needed.

If you don’t have a need for it, don’t get it. In the case of email, that means Unsubscribe. Depending on whose list you join, you may receive multiple offers each day.  These quickly add up, often doing no more than tempting you to buy things you don’t need, or forcing you to make decisions that don’t serve any real purpose in your life.

Set attainable goals. I will never be able to clear thousands of emails in one sitting. So, I have committed to deleting at least 150 a day. The project will get done in small manageable chunks.

If it really is useful, find the proper way to store it. It is so worth it to store emails in separate folders, each identifying a specific subject. To locate something in your Inbox is like looking for a piece of paper in a pile of clutter – instead of going to a file folder in your office.

Incorporate new items into your developing system. While you tackle the backlog, new emails continue to trickle in. If you want to add a sender to your contact list, set up the necessary details in your contacts folder, then delete the email. If an email is needed for future reference, create the corresponding folder and file the email accordingly.

With all organizing projects, a bit of effort is required up front, but it’s smooth sailing after that.