The Importance of Awareness

Thanks to social media I have learned that October is ADHD Awareness Month and Diabetes Awareness Month. In today’s society, we place significant importance on educating the public about the various, diagnosable “conditions” that impact our medical health and lifestyle choices. We recognize that people need different things to thrive and are taught to respect differences in one another. 

But what about self-awareness? There is certainly a movement afoot to promote self-care: getting enough sleep and exercise, maintaining the balance between work and our personal life. Despite the repeated message that “You deserve a break”, “You’re worth the indulgence” it remains difficult for many to recognize or allow their needs to be fulfilled.

But no one is knocking on the door to teach us about ourselves.  Do you recognize the feelings that are created when you have to pay income tax? Is there a mounting sense of frustration when you have to reschedule an appointment for the second time, due to a conflict? When you walk in the front door, are you relaxed and happy to be home, or do your eyes dart from one unfinished task to the next?

Your environment and the tasks you engage in, all contribute to your daily experiences. Are you calm, focused and productive? Or do you find it difficult to get motivated and stay on track? Is there a sense of overwhelm that makes it impossible for you to even put one foot forward? Research out of the Princeton University Neuroscience Institute dating back to 2011 found that visual clutter contributes to irritability, distractibility, reduced productivity and makes it hard for us to process information.

All those negatives give us good reason to face our clutter and create a more serene environment for ourselves.  When you take that first step, pause long enough to recognize how good it feels to have one less decision to make. As you continue along, whether for days, weeks, months or longer, remember to periodically stop and recognize how much lighter you feel and how much easier it is to accomplish your daily tasks.

It’s Not Nice to Call People Names

Hey!  Remember me? It’s been a while since we connected. Although I haven’t been blogging, I have been writing.  One thing I’ve written about is the difference between compulsive hoarding and chronic disorganization. There are some key points that bear repeating. Who better to share them with than you?

I don’t know if you are aware, but since May of 2013, compulsive hoarding has been identified as a mental health disorder. In the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) - the DSM is produced by the American Psychiatric Association and is viewed as the supreme authority on mental health disorders - hoarding disorder, or compulsive hoarding, was recognized as a diagnosis. Prior to that time, hoarding behaviour was considered a symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

Now, there’s a key difference between those with OCD and those with hoarding disorder: people who suffer from OCD generally are aware of their disorder. In contrast, people with hoarding disorder have very little insight into the severity of a hoarding situation. Despite the many risks, such as fire hazards, poor sanitation, or safety hazards, which can exist in a hoarding situation, the individual just doesn’t see a problem.

TV shows and media coverage have brought the reality of hoarding into our homes, but they don’t present a full picture. We aren’t educated as to the reasons one may hoard, or the impact it has on their relationships with others. The person who hoards is often portrayed as irresponsible and selfish. It is more likely, they just don’t understand what all the fuss is about. Remember: they have very little insight into the severity of their own situation.

Now, did you notice that I haven’t used the label hoarder in discussing this topic? This in not just by chance. Professional organizers and other related professionals generally do not use that word. I’ve heard hoarder used colloquially, and I have to admit, it makes me uneasy. Maybe that’s because I truly understand what hoarding looks and feels like, maybe it’s because it reminds me of schoolyard name-calling. Regardless, what you will hopefully experience in a professional context is a gentler reference to a hoarding situation, or someone who demonstrates hoarding tendencies, or anything to that effect.  This may just sound like nothing more than a convoluted way of saying the exact same thing, but it comes down to  matter of respect.  

One thing you can be sure of, where there is hoarding, there is hurt and frustration. The person who is actively hoarding may not experience these emotions, but the people who care about him or her likely are.  Just something to bear in mind if you know, or suspect that someone you know, struggles with compulsive hoarding.

System Breakdown

With temperatures finally above 0°C, good things lie ahead. That’s certainly not the feeling I had on the morning of February 12, the day my computer died. It was finito. I figured this would be a minor inconvenience. How difficult could it be to replace a computer? 

I shouldn’t have asked.  I waited four weeks for a replacement. I was amazed to learn how dependent this non-techy was on a computer. My accounting routine went off course. I lost things. My paper routine fell apart.

See what happened there? A very organized person (me) was suddenly a very disorganized person, (yup, the professional organizer, disorganized).  All it takes is something unexpected to wreak havoc on a well-orchestrated plan.

On March 10, my new computer was delivered. My first priority was to set up my email account. Now, since I’m a non-techy, I had some surprises along the way.  First, when I successfully set the account up on my new computer, every email on the server downloaded – not just the ones that had been sent during the previous four weeks, all 6700 of them.

Second, when I logged in to my Webmail account to begin clearing some things off the server, I inadvertently cleared everything off the server. When I selected the checkbox at the top of the column, I thought I was only selecting the emails I could see on my screen. It wasn’t until I hit Delete, then Purge Deleted, and waited a few seconds, that I realized I had cleared everything from the server.

My first reaction was panic. It was soon replaced with relief. I felt free. I don’t need all those emails on the server and on my C drive. I still have to sort and purge from my computer, but I don’t need to go through the exercise twice!! If I hadn’t accidentally deleted those emails, I would have created a huge task for myself, all the while telling myself that I had to check each email “Just to make sure”. In reality, if an email has sat untouched for three years, I don’t suddenly need it now.

So, I continue to reduce the number of emails in my Inbox. How? By applying the basic rules of organizing.

Put like with like. Sorting emails by sender means that you have everything from one sender in a group.  This is a great way to see how many retail offers you have from one store, how many unread newsletters you have from one association and how many simple conversations are still clogging up your Inbox.

If it’s not adding value today, let it go. Once you’ve got all your emails grouped by sender, it’s very easy to select, then delete, those that are no longer needed.

If you don’t have a need for it, don’t get it. In the case of email, that means Unsubscribe. Depending on whose list you join, you may receive multiple offers each day.  These quickly add up, often doing no more than tempting you to buy things you don’t need, or forcing you to make decisions that don’t serve any real purpose in your life.

Set attainable goals. I will never be able to clear thousands of emails in one sitting. So, I have committed to deleting at least 150 a day. The project will get done in small manageable chunks.

If it really is useful, find the proper way to store it. It is so worth it to store emails in separate folders, each identifying a specific subject. To locate something in your Inbox is like looking for a piece of paper in a pile of clutter – instead of going to a file folder in your office.

Incorporate new items into your developing system. While you tackle the backlog, new emails continue to trickle in. If you want to add a sender to your contact list, set up the necessary details in your contacts folder, then delete the email. If an email is needed for future reference, create the corresponding folder and file the email accordingly.

With all organizing projects, a bit of effort is required up front, but it’s smooth sailing after that.

Holiday Meals and Entertaining 101

With only a few days left until Christmas, everyone is focussed on getting those last few gifts. There will be a lot of eating on the run; but one cannot live on lattes and cookies alone.

Let’s not forget that with school out and a few extra days out of the office, there will have to be some eating at home. If you have a large gathering to attend, you are likely relieved from meal duty for at least one meal. But what happens if you’re hosting? What happens after the festivities?

Let’s start with the party. . .

If you’re hosting, say "yes".  That is, say yes to the offers of help you are likely to receive. No matter how great or small the contribution, it all amounts to less stress for you.  Someone bringing holiday napkins and Christmas crackers means two less things on your shopping list and at least one less line to stand in.

Make it easy to help. Even if you like to prepare the entire meal yourself, you can’t possibly like doing all of the clean-up.  Have a few zip loc baggies or disposable food storage containers on hand.  If you offer guests the opportunity to take some leftovers home, everything needed will be within reach, with less left for you to deal with.

Also, try to have extra rubber gloves and tea towels in the kitchen, for those good Samaritans who want to help with the dishes.

 

Make ahead. Look for dishes that can be made a day in advance.  This will be helpful whether you are taking a dish to a potluck gathering or opening your doors to your loved ones.

Don’t strive for perfection. Holiday gatherings aren’t about trying to impress one another (I hope). Let’s put the focus on enjoying the celebration and each other’s company. A glass may break, a side dish may get overdone.  These are just minor details to be added to the holiday annals.

Embrace catering. Just because you have graciously offered to host an event, doesn’t mean that everything has to be prepared from scratch. Ordering a dessert, side dishes, savoury pies or even a cooked turkey is perfectly acceptable. Just be sure to place your order far in advance to avoid disappointment.

And once the party’s over . . .

Plan for lighter meals. Everyone worries about putting on a few extra pounds during the holidays.  All that home-baked goodness is too good to resist. To combat the effects of over-indulging, stock your fridge with greens. Bagged salads are healthy and easily turned in to a quick and healthy meal. Grilled chicken is readily available in supermarkets and provides a lean source of protein. If you’d rather have soup on these cool evenings, you can stock the pantry with your favourite store-bought variety, or shop for the ingredients that will allow you to prepare a homemade soup with your leftovers.

Freeze. Cooked meat or poultry can be frozen.  You’ll likely want to use it for pot pies or some type of dish that has a sauce or gravy, but it beats throwing it away.

Check out some recipes. Knowing what you want to make in advance is half the battle. I’m including some recipes that I plan to make over the next few weeks, as well as a link to some new ideas.

Turkey Pot Pie (I use a pre-made crust)

Everyday Leftovers

Turkey, Brie and Pear Sandwiches

No matter how you spend your time over the next couple of weeks, I wish you all the best of the season and health and happiness in 2015.  See’ya next year!

The DIY Mover’s Checklist

This is a hot time in the real estate market.  If you’re in a desirable neighbourhood, the sign can go up, and your house can be sold within a week. Then you’ll have 30 – 90 days to move out. If you’re not ready, the whole experience can be overwhelming.

So, how can moving be easier? Here are a few ideas to keep you on track.

OHIO (Only Handle it Once). Before you list your home, it’s best to depersonalize the space.  When you take up all those family photos and quirky caricatures, wrap and pack them for the move.  There’s no point stashing them in a bin or drawer, only to have to pack them later. 

Purge before you pack. Whenever possible, try to eliminate anything you no longer want before you move. So often, people throw belongings into a box saying, “I’ll sort it out in the new place.” Here are two things to consider: If you’re already thinking that you’ll make a final decision after the move, you’re already half way to admitting you don’t want the item.  Besides, putting off all those decisions until after you move prolongs the stress and frustration that often accompanies a move. Until you open and unpack every box, you won’t be truly settled. Why wait and hang on to those feelings of being in flux?

Pack an organized box. Don’t succumb to the pressure to throw whatever you touch into a box, regardless of what will be packed with it.  If you find a valid passport at the back of a kitchen drawer, don’t pack it with your knives and forks; pack it with other vital documents.

Forward your change of address. Once you know your move date, start notifying all necessary parties of your new address. I strongly recommend completing a mail redirect at your local postal outlet.
 

 Contact your utility and service providers. While you’re processing that address change, don’t forget to notify providers of services and utilities of your upcoming move. Find out what can be moved with you and what has to be cancelled. You don’t want to get caught paying for the next guy’s water consumption, and you do want to make sure you can watch TV at the end of a long day of unpacking in your new home.

Label and colour code. Remember to identify which room in the new house each box should be placed in. Some people like to assign a colour to each room in their new house and affix a label of the same colour onto all boxes or furniture to go in that room.  For example, in the new house, hang a piece of red paper on the bathroom door; when you pack anything that should go into the bathroom, put a red sticker/label on the box. And don’t forget to list some of the contents on each box.  You likely won’t get everything unpacked in one day.  When you have to find something in a hurry, you’ll be glad to have a list of each box’s contents to refer to.

Pack a Last day/First day box. When you’ve been packing for days and weeks leading up to your move date, you’ll start to pare down your frequent go-to items. When you only have a day left in your old house, you’ll want to put together a collection of the toiletries and clothes you will need on move day, as well as a box of the cleaning supplies and must-haves for your first few hours in your new home.  Some things to include would be toilet paper, paper towel, cleaning supplies, rubber gloves, a mop and pail, hand soap, dish soap and a few hand towels.

Ask about exceptions. When you’re booking your moving company, be sure to ask if they have any exceptions.  Movers generally won’t move hazardous materials, (this can include your household cleaning products), overweight items or even alcohol.  Likewise, be sure that the company you move with can meet any special needs you may have, such as moving a piano or appliances.

 

Regardless of the circumstances surrounding your move, it will go more smoothly if you take the steps to be prepared. Good luck!

Just Do It!

No, this is not a Nike endorsement.  I started a blog post a week ago, put it down and had no further inspiration.  Then on Monday night I attended my local chapter meeting of Professional Organizers in Canada.  We had a fabulous guest speaker – Donna Messer, the networking diva.  From her hour-long presentation to our membership, I drew my inspiration for this month’s post.

To clarify, Donna’s in the business of making business happen.  She has an idea for everyone looking to make the right connections. As I listened to Donna’s message, I realized it is easily transferrable. Her philosophy is, no matter what you are asked to do, say Yes. For the purpose of his blog, there’s a bit of a twist: you’re the only one involved in the dialogue. You ask and answer the questions.

Don’t misunderstand.  I’m not encouraging you to overextend yourself to the point that your life becomes unmanageable.  I don’t subscribe to that at all. What I am encouraging you to do is try. Try something new. Not kickboxing or hot yoga – unless that’s on your bucket list. Introduce a new behaviour. Just one at a time. Before you know it, you can do the impossible.

You just can’t get all the dishes washed or loaded into the dishwasher by the end of the day?  Ask yourself, Is there a way for me to do this? The answer is Yes. First you have to want to get the dishes out of sight by day’s end, i.e. make it a priority. Then you have to tell yourself that you can get those dishes out of site, i.e. replace the negative self talk with the positive. Then, start dealing with even some of the dishes. Once it’s easy to address some of the dirty dishes, add a few more into your daily routine. Before you know it, you are that person who wipes down a clear counter at the end of the day and leaves the dishcloth to dry on the faucet – which is suspended over an empty sink!

Think you can’t get out the door on time in the morning?  You can. You ask yourself, Will I ever get out on time? The answer is Yes. Identify what slows you down, or where you might gain some time in the morning. Do you waste time gathering the book you want to read on the subway and the envelope you need to pop into a mailbox? Gather those items the night before and have them waiting for you at the door. Maybe it’s the 15 minutes you lose to your shower once you tumble out of bed.  Would you be able to shower the night before? Try doing one thing differently. If it makes a difference, stick with it.  If it doesn’t make enough of a difference, introduce a subsequent behaviour. Keep tweaking your routine until it becomes easy to walk out the door on time.

I could site any number of examples; I think you get the picture.  Don’t let complacency or self-doubt prevent you from achieving more. Whether it’s training for a triathlon, or introducing the behaviours  that will allow you to live clutter free or stress free, whenever you ask yourself, can I do better, the answer is Yes! Just do it!

What Does "Ready" Look Like to You?

Almost 15 years ago, my husband introduced me to his family cottage.   It’s adorable. Situated on the shore of Georgian Bay, it looks out over all the beauty nature has to offer. The history of the family cottage is equally as beautiful. What is now a modest three bedroom mini home was built single-handedly by my father-in-law, with occasional assistance needed from neighbouring cottagers who helped with some heavy lifting.

My parents-in-law bought a piece of land at auction, with the intention to build on it. My husband, the youngest of three, was six-weeks-old when construction began. The family of five made the jaunt to Georgian Bay every week; all construction materials were carried across the Bay in a 14' cedar strip boat.  The first order of business was to build some kind of temporary living quarters. The picture shown below was the family’s home-away-from-home for two summers. Inside was a wood-burning cook stove, kitchen table and enough floor space for the requisite sleeping bags.

When the family was able to move into the main cottage, this original structure became the shed. As new priorities and alternate storage options presented themselves, the shed became neglected. When I first saw it, I immediately said to my then boyfriend, “We could clean this out for your parents”. “No way! It’s too big a project and we’ve got too many other things to do up here. Besides, it’s all my Dad’s stuff”. Fair enough. Boundaries always need to be respected. I moved on.

As dating led to marriage for my husband and me, it only seemed natural that I play a bigger part in helping at the cottage. But I was limited. I couldn’t find anything in the shed and had to rely on my husband to retrieve and put back anything that was stored in there. I muttered my frustration over the years, but never again suggested that we tackle the project.

Then it happened. Two weeks ago my husband said, “That place is gross! We have got to empty it out and get rid of all the junk.” “Pardon?” “I can’t even go in there anymore. We have to do something.” I don’t know if it was just me, or if everyone heard the angels singing. I was ecstatic!

What had changed? Furry squatters had taken over the shed. My husband worked fervently to eradicate the problem and remind our unwelcomed tenants that this shed was still owned by humans. The ick factor is what finally pushed my husband over the edge—and I was ready for action!

We arrived at the cottage for the August long weekend with grubby clothes, face masks, gloves, a shop vac and trailer. I swept, vacuumed and tossed to my heart’s content.  Then I realized I was all alone.  Everyone else was at the beach. 

I tried to get my husband back on board. I started to share my master plan of peg board, lazy susans, and labeled containers when I was suddenly jolted back to reality. “What are you talking about? We’re done. We have to move on. We’ve done a lot here. I’m going to have a hard enough time justifying what we’ve done to my parents.”

And there you have it: the dream has been shelved until another time. Ready came, we acted, we moved on. I hope my husband’s ready isn’t another 15 years in the making. The best part: no complaints from my inlaws.