In the biz, we’re coached to go slowly, allow time for our
clients to make decisions, and take pictures to serve as a memory aid. With so many decisions being made, it can’t hurt
to have a pictorial reminder, right? I know what you’re thinking, “Sure, some
elderly people may have trouble remembering things, but not my dad. He’s been
perfectly calm through this whole process”.
Don’t be fooled. Even those who appear to be in control are
likely struggling. This may not be
apparent until after they are settled in their new home and start to ask for
those same things that they rationally agreed to part with a few months prior.
Keep these tips in mind when helping an elderly loved one to
move:
Be patient. The number of things required
for any move are overwhelming; for an elderly person, even more so. Allow time for
ideas to take root and for sound decisions to be made.
No one really wants to get rid of
everything. If someone says “Throw it all away. I don’t want any of it”,
they are likely so overwhelmed with the project they’ve disengaged.
Haste in the early stages of a
move may lead to regrets down the road. You may plan on setting up a
perfect new home for that special person; but he or she just may need some time
in the new space to figure out for him/herself what does and doesn’t work. As long as there is no expression of angst or
frustration, let the process run its course.
When a decision feels right, it will be made.
They say familiarity breeds
contempt. But those things that are familiar to us bring comfort. No doubt,
some things will be discarded and some new things acquired. But don’t
underestimate the benefits derived from waking up in an unfamiliar place, and
seeing your favourite coaster, mug or doily. When helping to set up a new
space, try as soon as possible to pull out those special things that will put a
smile on your loved one’s face.
While
the decision to move may have been difficult to make, and the move itself has
worn out more than a few people, it can still prove to be the best thing ever
done. Once new routines are established,
there are fewer responsibilities and possibley improved social contact and nutrition,
you may see a happier healthier person emerge.
