The Aftermath of Downsizing Seniors

Well, there’s more to be said on the topic of moving.  While everyone thinks of spring as the time the real estate market heats up; summer is when the moves occur. We all know that moves are stressful; but many may be unaware of the additional challenges faced by the elderly population.

In the biz, we’re coached to go slowly, allow time for our clients to make decisions, and take pictures to serve as a memory aid.  With so many decisions being made, it can’t hurt to have a pictorial reminder, right? I know what you’re thinking, “Sure, some elderly people may have trouble remembering things, but not my dad. He’s been perfectly calm through this whole process”.

Don’t be fooled. Even those who appear to be in control are likely struggling.  This may not be apparent until after they are settled in their new home and start to ask for those same things that they rationally agreed to part with a few months prior.

Keep these tips in mind when helping an elderly loved one to move:

Be patient. The number of things required for any move are overwhelming; for an elderly person, even more so. Allow time for ideas to take root and for sound decisions to be made.

No one really wants to get rid of everything. If someone says “Throw it all away. I don’t want any of it”, they are likely so overwhelmed with the project they’ve disengaged.  

Haste in the early stages of a move may lead to regrets down the road. You may plan on setting up a perfect new home for that special person; but he or she just may need some time in the new space to figure out for him/herself what does and doesn’t work.  As long as there is no expression of angst or frustration, let the process run its course.  When a decision feels right, it will be made.  

They say familiarity breeds contempt. But those things that are familiar to us bring comfort. No doubt, some things will be discarded and some new things acquired. But don’t underestimate the benefits derived from waking up in an unfamiliar place, and seeing your favourite coaster, mug or doily. When helping to set up a new space, try as soon as possible to pull out those special things that will put a smile on your loved one’s face.  

While the decision to move may have been difficult to make, and the move itself has worn out more than a few people, it can still prove to be the best thing ever done.  Once new routines are established, there are fewer responsibilities and possibley improved social contact and nutrition, you may see a happier healthier person emerge.

Moving Day is Here!

Spring is certainly a busy time in the real estate market.  The For Sale signs pop up over night and people pull all kinds of relics out to the curb, in an effort to properly stage their home for potential buyers.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in helping people to move, it’s that you can never start to prepare too early. Whether you’re 35 or 80 year of age, moving from a one-bedroom apartment or five-bedroom house, packing up an immaculate bungalow, or hauling away truckloads of a “collector’s” – I use the term loosely – delights, there will be a lot of decisions to make and a lot of physical work to be done.  The mental, emotional and physical commitment needed to have you ready on move day is exhausting.

Bearing in mind that you need to keep your home adequately furnished and tidy for showing, consider these few pointers to make your move and move preparation run a little more smoothly.

Never assume you’ll have enough time. Have you heard what happens to the best laid plans? It’s always prudent to expect the unexpected. You will be amazed at how much stuff comes out of a well-maintained home. Don’t underestimate the amount of time needed to sort and pack. Get started as soon as possible. The worst thing that can happen is that you finish packing ahead of time and wake up on moving day feeling refreshed and prepared.  

Don’t wait until the last week before your move to take out the trash. Once you identify anything that will not be moving with you, get it out of your house.  This is true of recyclables, hazardous waste, small items you can donate to a thrift shop, larger items that may be suitable for re-sale, or those items that just have to go to landfill. Many municipalitites offer curb-side pick-up of larger items, free of charge. As well, most recycling and garbage depots allow residents to drop off hazardous waste Monday to Friday. Planning ahead for the disposal of these kinds of items can save you money in the long run.

Pack seasonable items first. You won’t need your winter coat, Christmas decorations or menorah in June.  Why not get these things boxed and free up the mental space they would otherwise occupy.  There’s got to be something else you could be planning for.

Label, label, label. No matter how tedious it may seem, label all boxes. Whether you list the specific contents, or prefer to list the area of you home that the contents came from, leave yourself some clue as to what’s inside all boxes. Consider colour coding the labels; for example, all boxes from the master bedroom have red labels, boxes from bathroom have blue labels etc.

Keep like with like. If you weren’t able to tidy up before you started packing, tidy while you pack.  If your arts and crafts project is on the kitchen table, please do not pack it in with the cookie sheets sand muffin tins.  This is the time to take your crafts and put them with your other craft-related supplies. When you need to unwind in your new home, you’ll be glad that you can easily find your crafts.  

When you finally get to your new home give yourself adequate time to unpack. Think about where you want things to go, instead of tossing them in a cupboard to be dealt with later. Taking the necessary steps to get yourself comfortably settled will make your move more peaceful and satisfying.  Best of luck to all who are moving in the near future.

Waging War Against the Inbox

I have a dirty little secret: I struggle to keep afloat of the deluge of emails I receive. Because they don’t occupy any physical space, it’s all too easy to let them sit – indefinitely.  But every time I log into my e-mail, I am irritated to see the climbing numbers.  You now the ones I’m referring to; the tally at the bottom left corner of the monitor.  How many e-mails are in my inbox? How many are unread?

About three weeks ago, I decided, for the third time, it was time to stop the insanity. Three thousand, six hundred and fifty seven e-mails greeted me that day.  Five hundred and six of them were unread. I started chipping away.  That day, I deleted 87 e-mails.  I wrote down the number of e-mails remaining, and moved on to something else.  The next time I logged in, I checked the e-mail tally.  Inevitably, the numbers had crept up.  I gave myself 20 minutes to get the numbers down and knock off a few more. 

When I logged off for lunch today, there were 999 e-mails, (61 unread), in my inbox. When I returned from lunch 30 minutes later, 1001 emails were waiting.  This will be an ongoing battle;  lifelong maintenance, if you will. But I feel good about my progress and will continue to chip away at my cyber stuff.

If an over-crowed inbox is making it hard for you to manage your online communication, here are some tips to help you get over the e-mail hurdle.

1.           Commit. You don’t have to work on this every day, but if you’re going to make a difference, consistent effort is required.

2.           Challenge yourself. Determine how many e-mails you will deal with in a certain amount of time. See if you can beat the goal you set for yourself.

3.           Sort. Sort your e-mails by sender. This way all the e-mails from your mom are together, all the e-mails from a particular retailer will be together. With your finger poised over the Delete button, scan the contents of the e-mails from one sender at a time. Then say b’bye to the expired special offers and details of the family potluck from three years ago.

4.           Take action. If an email requires action, take the necessary action. For example, maybe you’ve kept an e-mail because you wanted to verify a mailing address or telephone number. Verify the relevant information, make the adjustments needed, delete the e-mail.

5.           File. You will want to keep some e-mails. Set up folders for the information you know you will need in the future. Move e-mails from your inbox to their corresponding folders regularly.

6.           Ask. When retailers ask for your e-mail address, ask what it will be used for. Remember that many retailers will send you something daily. Do you really want to be on that mailing list?

7.           Unsubscribe. Ask yourself how often you really benefit from the e-mails that you automatically receive daily, weekly, etc. If you have never derived any benefit from them, or worse yet, never even looked at them, consider unsubscribing. For example, I’ve received e-mails from two of my favourite furniture stores for years. I can’t remember the last time I was in the market for furniture. I’ve unsubscribed. Likewise, I’ve been receiving online bulletins from two fitness groups I’ve worked out with and never read a single one. I’ve finally realized that being active – not reading about being active – is my goal. I’ve also unsubscribed from their mailing lists.

8.           Separate. Use the Tools feature in your e-mail program to create mail rules. You can create rules based on the sender or subject that result in e-mails being automatically sorted into specified folders. This is a great way to keep the junk mail separate from personal and work correspondence.

9.           Don’t give up. The e-mails will keep coming. There will be times when it seems hopeless, (like when you return from a two-week vacation to find 500 new e-mails). Decide on twenty minutes at a time, 30 e-mails at a time – whatever you can consistently work in to your schedule – just keep at it.

10.       Enjoy. Enjoy the e-mail that you really do want to receive. Enjoy the time you will save when you don’t have to sift through thousands of e-mails. Enjoy the satisfaction of having made some changes.

Planning Ahead Can Save You Money

For those living in a snowy climate, this is the time of year we long to get away to warmer locales. So many people say a vacation is beyond their reach, but I discovered that with a bit of planning and research, great savings can be realized. Surprisingly, many rewards programs and professional memberships offer significant discounts or the chance to obtain free admission.  For example, we were able to access the Disney parks at no charge, after redeeming our Air Miles reward miles for park passes.

If you plan to stay in a hotel, you’re pretty much destined to eat every meal out and live through the wait times that often accompany dining out. This year we stayed in a villa, an option that was more cost effective than a hotel and afforded us some of the comforts -- and savings -- of being at home.

Travelling to a US destination meant we could purchase anything we needed once we arrived, but realizing we wouldn’t be able to use full packages of everything needed, we threw in a few household items when we were packing. Some of the things we brought along included coffee, sugar, filters and dishwasher pacs. We’d never use full packages of these if purchased after our arrival, and these items were easy enough to pack without risk of leakage or breakage.

If we were really on the ball, we would have packed a lunch on a few days. Maybe it’s a sign of my age, maybe I really do have a healthier diet than I realize, but I couldn’t handle the repeated consumption of pizza and chicken nuggets. We did always pack water for the day. That which costs $0.87 at the grocery store costs a minimum of $2.50 once you’re inside the gates. But before packing your cooler bag, make sure the park you are visiting allows outside food. We learned that visitors’ bags are checked before they are admitted to any park, except on rainy days.  Then it looks like anything goes.

Bon voyage!

Organized Chaos

Organized Chaos. We hear it often, this, the ultimate oxymoron. Many do exist in this state; I suspect with some degree of difficulty. I cannot.  I crave a sense of order. Symmetry. Harmony. I will take a moment to admire a balanced floral arrangement, a properly scaled centrepiece, the mantle that looks as if it was transported from the pages of a magazine.  

But at Christmastime I’m struck by the irony that the thing I enjoy the most is what I can only describe as a beautiful example of organized chaos: the Christmas tree. Unlike the big retailers who erect magical winter wonderlands filled with trees that each have a colour theme, our family puts up a tree that displays a random collection of ornaments.  It’s a mishmash of glass, yarn, felt and pipe cleaners. It reflects bits of nature and holds memories of overseas travel and special events. Nothing is sorted, categorized or assigned a specific home, the hallmarks of organized living.   

Perhaps this example of chaos is accepted because we only have to look at it. Perhaps is can exist because we only look t it. Its purpose is nothing more than to provide aesthetic appeal. It won’t make us late to a meeting, or lose our keys.

But isn’t it true that when chaos takes over our physical space we treat it as a Christmas tree and do little more than look at it? We make a mental note to wash the dishes later. We’ll clear the desk next weekend. Until days become weeks, weeks become months and now things have spiralled out of control.  Chaos has won the battle over organization.  We don’t know how it got to this point, or how to restore order.  We are paralyzed.  

Our Christmas tree analogy can help.  Most people pick a day in January that they will devote to dismantling the Christmas tree and putting away the Christmas decorations. One-by-one, the ornaments are removed from the tree and returned to their dedicated storage container. Space opens up in our home. Life returns to normal – whatever that may be. Why not treat your piles of paper and laundry like the tree? Decide on a time to get started, and address one item at a time.  It won’t come together as quickly or easily packing up after the holidays, but progress can be made.

Kitchen Karma

I have conquered my kitchen.  Like everyone else, I’ve had those days where I’ve opened the refrigerator, grabbed an armful of food, and put it directly into the green bin. I hate those days. But sometimes they happen.  Like when we closed the cottage for the season, and both perishable and non-perishable items came home, creating duplicates or triplicates of what I already had. First I lamented the fact that space was at a premium, then I got creative.

I discovered that salads and tacos are a great way to get rid of small quantities of food. Soup too.  Most important is to be aware of what you’ve got.  Typically, this means that someone, and I do mean one person, has to know what is going into and out of the fridge and pantry, and do some planning. 

I have also discovered that paying attention to schedules and my own energy level makes it easier to manage meals. For example, I’m much more likely to plan and prepare a meal from scratch from Sunday to Wednesday.  I just feel like it. Thursday and Friday are for leftovers, or the forbidden, frozen foods that I can just heat and serve in a jiffy. This is particularly significant for me, because Thursday tends to be a busy day in our household.  There is always a lot of homework and we have an evening commitment. It just isn’t feasible for me to create a culinary masterpiece – or do the requisite clean up.

Saturday is the best day. That’s the day that I’ve relinquished control of the evening meal to my husband. He looks after everything from choosing what to make, getting the groceries, setting the table and cooking.  Clean-up is more of a family affair. It only seems fair.

Free? No Thanks.

As I walked through a department store earlier today, a young lady made eye contact with me and held out her hand.  She was holding a small plastic cup.  In the other hand she held a tray of identical plastic cups.  I kept my distance. “This is for you,” she called out.  “What is it”? “A present.”  “No thank you.”

There is definitely something in our formation that teaches us if something is free, we should take it. Years ago, if I walked by someone handing out flyers, key chains, booklets – whatever it is that they used to promote their product or message – I would stick my hand out and accept whatever they were offering.  Then I noticed that none of these things I brought home interested me.  I never read the booklets and flyers. Never attended the sales or concerts they were advertising. And I already had a key chain.  Why would I put my keys on a piece of swag that promoted a product or company I’d never before heard of? Now, when the lime green and hot pink pieces of paper are waved in my face, or someone holds out a plastic-wrapped trinket of sorts, I just say “No thanks,” and keep on walking.

Another way we accumulate our freebies is with the ever-loved gift with purchase. The cosmetic companies have this one all wrapped up.  Admittedly, when I was in my twenties, I thought this was the best thing ever.  I could buy high-end cosmetic products, and walk away with a bag of free, also high-end cosmetic products.  Perfect!! Whenever I saw the ad, I would plan to purchase a new mascara, new facial scrub, and whatever was needed to meet the minimum purchase requirements.  It’s all good; these were products I used. But when I got home to check out my six sample products, I was usually only interested in two of them. I’d tuck the rest away; I was sure to use them sometime.  

A couple years after moving in to the house I now live in with my family I was baffled. What was all that stuff in my bathroom drawer? I swear I only use four things out of that drawer. I started to dig. Ah . . . the unopened eye shadow I’d gotten five years earlier.  The nail buffer I will never use in this lifetime.  That shimmery powder that I’m not even sure how to use. It was all there.  All the gifts with purchase that I was so excited to get, wasted. There were also a couple new mascaras and an extra facial scrub. The stuff I really wanted was buried beneath the stuff I didn’t care about. I felt kind of foolish, but I had learned something. Just because something is free, doesn’t mean that I will like it, use it, or even want it. Now when the cosmetician reminds me that spending an additional $4 means that I walk away with a free gift, it’s really easy to say, “This is all I need, thanks.”

There are a lot of freebies out there; some in the form of information, some in the form of product. But do you want them? Are they adding value? And if not, just say “no”. You’re not offending anyone, and more importantly, you are putting some thought into what you let into your own life, home and hidden away nooks and crannies.