Three Ways to Involve the Kids to get Organized

As  families grow, the days seem drastically shorter. There are never enough hours for self-care, quality time with family, or that extra time that could always be used at work and home. Don't settle for the chaos that can accompany life with kids. These three tips will allow you to have a few minutes of peace,  before you become an empty nester.

State your expectations. As parents, we think it’s obvious to all family members what we expect and what the household standards are. Not so. Whether your kids are toddlers or teenagers, they need you to spell out the rules of the game. Toddlers learn the Tidy Up song in pre-school. If they are held accountable for putting things away when outside of the home, they can be held accountable at home. Try the five-minute warning, “We’re going to have dinner in a few minutes. Let’s tidy up before we eat”, then spend a few minutes helping return things to their respective containers.

Likewise, have a talk with your tween or teen to let them know what you expect, for example make your bed daily, empty the dishwasher on Saturday mornings, put your clean laundry away. And be sure to tie a reward or consequence to these tasks.

Teach your kids. Prioritizing and organizing are skills we learn.  Teach your kids about limits. If there is only an influx of things but no exit plan, your home will quickly become crowded and you’ll find yourself watching TV around a stack of magazines or a mountain of postponed decisions. When the toy baskets are overflowing, it’s time to have a talk about what is still age-appropriate, what is a favourite, and what might be passed along to make someone else happy.

Earmark some time, about 2 to 4 weeks before birthdays and Christmas, to talk with each of your children about what to let go of. Explain that they will receive a lot of presents and need to make space for all the new stuff to come.

Also, let your child decide the best way to let go of their once-loved possessions. Will it be off to a thrift store, neighbour, children’s charity, or listed on kijiji for some extra cash?

Involving your kids in these decisions eliminates their fear of letting go and reduces the likelihood of the kids feeling blindsided by the disappearance of their prized possessions.

Keep it simple. We are all more likely to follow the rules of organization if they are easy. Use open baskets for dirty laundry and toy storage. Avoid stacking bins; the extra steps of fitting on lids and stacking and unstacking bins, will be the difference between things being put away, or strewn about the room. Use hooks for hanging coats, clothes and towels. Consider introducing drawer dividers in dresser drawers; having a section for each type of clothing is the first step to maintaining some order in those drawers.

We shouldn’t expect things to change overnight, but by consistently stating expectations and leading by example, these organizing habits will take root.

One Good Reason Why You May be Disorganized

Does it make you crazy that some people have no difficulty at all holding it together, while you consider it a bonus if you have clean clothes to put on in the morning?

For many people with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), even daily routines can pose a challenge. What happens in the ADHD brain is that the activities of the pre-frontal cortex – the area behind the forehead – are impaired. This is the activity centre responsible for things like decision-making, time awareness, focus, detail, organization, transitioning attention, self-control, emotions and inhibition. Whew! That’s a lot. Can you imagine how easy it is for your day to go off track if there is a communication breakdown in the pre-frontal cortex?

The transfer of information between the parts of the ADHD brain that is untreated (i.e. the person is not taking medication for their ADHD) can be unreliable. This is why you forget what was said to you yesterday, or forget to complete a task that was interrupted. A lot of what happens in any given moment can be lost and therefore not transferred to long-term memory where it can be recalled and serve you at a future date.


Now, the big mystery to many is “How can anyone forget to do repeated tasks? The answer: those tasks don’t provide enough stimulation to engage the ADHD brain. If there is not an immediate benefit, the person with ADHD will focus their attention elsewhere, to something that will give immediate satisfaction or some kind of instant rush. Putting away laundry is way too boring compared to online gaming. That clean underwear will only be a priority when you open your drawer on Monday morning and discover you’ve got less than 5 minutes to put together clothes for the day and bound out the door.

But having ADHD doesn’t mean you are destined to live a life of chaos. It means recognizing that you may need some extra supports to get through the stuff that bores you to tears. And that support could be something as simple as arranging to have someone call you when it’s time to get off the couch and start getting ready for the family celebration, or putting a Post-it® Note at the door so you remember to take the present with you to the party. Other things you could try include:

• Visual/auditory timers, like the Time Timer
• Scheduling your day in your smart phone with an audible notification reminder
• Keeping Post-it® Notes in your car to capture those important thoughts that come to you at the wrong time: jot it down on a Post-it® Note and stick it on your steering wheel. When you get home, take the note in with you and stick it in a visible place, so you will be sure to act on it.  

Now, not everyone who is disorganized has ADHD. But since October is ADHD Awareness Month, I wanted to share a bit of information on the topic and let you know that there are very real reasons why some people struggle with chronic disorganization. ADHD is one of those reasons. So if you seem to always be struggling with organization, it’s not necessarily because of laziness or an inability to be organized. It’s simply a matter of learning what kind of supports you need to be organized, and bringing those supports into your life.